I have always used my journal as an outlet. My first journal (which I still have somewhere)was red and blue and had Paddington Bear on the cover. I got it for Christmas when I was 6. I quickly began filling it with silly poems, stories, pictures, and random thoughts. The literary arts have been a natural form of expression for me since I began reading at age 3 1/2. When asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I said either a teacher or a writer. I would spend hours in my room escaping into writing and reading.
As I got older I realized that writing was something I absolutely needed in order to make sense of everything that was happening inside of me. All of the thoughts and fears that were flying around in my mind with no sense of groundedness could be taken out of my head and made sense out of by being put onto paper. It provided a tangible, soothing feeling.
I have kept most of my journals throughout the years, with the exception of the ones I used during grades 5 through 8. They were filled with angst and insecurity and I was worried someone would find them and read them and realize what a freak I really was (haha), so I threw them away. I wish I still had them. I recently went through some boxes in the garage and found some journals from high school. While reading them, I laughed out loud and also had tears in my eyes. I had an almost maternal feeling for that insecure teenage girl.
Writing has helped me get through some of the hardest times in my life. Now, at age 25 I am really starting to feel like I'm growing into myself. I know that I will never stop learning, but I do feel like I've come to a place of more self-acceptance and balance than I ever have before. I'm realizing the things that are real and true for me, and striving to practice those things on a daily basis.
SO.....I guess I am a blogger now. I have been obsessively reading blogs lately, and the urge to write one myself was so overwhelming this morning that I just couldn't not do it. I think of it as a journal that I am sharing with everyone. I'm happy to share it, and not afraid anymore of being considered a freak. I believe in finding your truth and then being it to its fullest potential, not matter what others may think.
In this blog I'm going to write about things that I have discovered are the most important to me, and some of those things are:
Fitness and Nutrition
Living with Anxiety
Who knows if anyone will read it, but I hope that maybe I can inspire someone else, even if it is just one person.